He was wearing knee-high black boots, long black shorts, a white button up shirt and a black tie, and he looked amazing. The first time I touched him, hugged him close like I'd wanted to do so badly for three years, he presented me with a single rose that he'd dragged on the bus with him for 8+ hours. It was a little wilted and soft, but he had held it close to him the whole time, protecting it. Rain was pouring down all around us as we held each other for the first time under the bus station shelter, surrounded by some lone gawkers and all his material possesions in a few boxes & suitcases. The only other time I've ever seen it rain that hard was after I had my son. When both my men came to me, the sky split open and cried.
Thinking back on that rose, that rain, that moment....I realize now that it was a pivotal moment in my life in so many ways. Sure, there are the obvious turning points - meeting the man whose son I'd have, for one - but there are so many things that I'm just beginning to see.
The man I love has a way of protecting me that is not unlike the way he protected that rose - he carries me a lot, and shields me from things that might be damaging. Sometimes I have been too stubborn to realize this, but it's always been true. When I'm fragile, I don't have to feel scared anymore. For someone who has been plagued by low self-esteem, the banishment of fear is something that often seems so far off. But it's so close now. And it's because of him.
In some ways, the rain has never seemed to stop. Our relationship has been anything but perfect. Even when we fight, we still love each other - and we say it, too. But the rain isn't arguments....the rain has been hardship, poverty, depression, failure. We've had to re-define ourselves as individuals, as parents, and as a couple, too. And through it all, "I love you" has always been there.
I am so thankful that by some chance, this man walked into my life. Things have never been the same since he arrived. I wouldn't have it any other way.
One of the reasons that I love him so much is because he always seems to remember small things about me that really mean so much. He accepts my quirkiness (which everyone else simply calls "tacky") and even facilitates it at times! When I've found some crazy thing in a thrift store, I go running to him saying "Look at this elephant-shaped hairbrush/lotion dispenser combination!" and he will smile. Sometimes he admits it, sometimes he doesn't....but I always know he saw it first. He purposely keeps quiet and lets me discover it on my own.
I don't remember if that was the case with the owl mug. I got it a long time ago, at a local Goodwill. I paid fifty cents for it. I bought it the same day that I bought his favorite mug, too - a brown, slanted-side pottery one, with abstract purple and green leaves on it. The owl mug was not my favorite at first, but I grew to appreciate the fact that it held almost the exact amount of coffee I wanted to drink. I am so strange, because I don't like thick-walled mugs or cups...it makes me feel like I'm drinking with a big fat lip. The owl mug was the perfect thickness, but it kept my coffee so perfectly warm, because it was vintage Glasbake.
One day, there was a fight. The owl mug was broken before the fight, but I discovered it right smack in the middle of the fight. I don't like admitting this....but I got very upset over it. Normally, I would have said, "It's okay, I know it was an accident." But on that day, I got very upset. I still feel bad about it.
After it broke, I looked around for a replacement, but it was always to no avail. I checked eBay a lot for one like it, and while I could never find one, my searching did show me a world of wacky mugs I'm just waiting to collect.
Yesterday evening, after we got home from our huge shopping trip, he said he'd make us tea. When he brought it to me - to my surprise - the tea was in not one, but TWO owl mugs.
The other looks similar, but he's a bit more goofy looking. I love them both, but I'm definitely biased. He said he found them the very first time he searched on eBay.....and I had searched so many times! I told him they must have been waiting for him to come along.
After it broke, he promised to replace it. And he did.
